The Other Side of Midnight
by DarkElements10
Summary: -Prequel to You're Not Alone-. -SHORT STORY- Dak/OC. "There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a person to hold your hand, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore." -Anonymous. Rhuben Jackson-McGuire wasn't sure if Dak would stick around when he found out she wasn't as perfect as he thought.
1. I try to speak

**The Other Side of Midnight**

**Summary – **Standalone sequel to You're Not Alone. Dak/OC**. **"There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a person to hold your hand, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore." No matter how much Dak Zevon could annoy her, Rhuben Jackson-McGuire knew he was always going to be there for her. But she wasn't sure if he would stick around when he found out she wasn't as perfect as he thought she was.

Trigger warning: Anorexia

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**.:Chapter 01:.**

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"Hey, Rhu-Rhu, are you feeling better?" Rhuben Jackson-McGuire lifted her gaze from her laptop, pushing her glasses up her nose and smiled as her baby brother, Sydney, walked into her room. He climbed up onto her bed and the eleven year old stuck his face close to hers. "You look better," he noted.

"I definitely feelbetter," Rhuben said, moving her laptop aside. "No headache, no fever…I'm just hungry."

"I'll say." Sydney sat back on his heels and smiled. "You had the flu and were puking for a week, I'd be starving if I were you." He looked towards her bedroom door before looking back at his sister with a mischievous look in his eyes. "Speaking of…" he rolled off of the bed and walked out of the room, just by the doorway. He came back carrying two bowls of ice cream. "I figured this would be better than the soup you were stuck eating," he said. He handed one to her and gave her a spoon before climbing back onto her bed.

Rhuben laughed as she took her own bowl, pleased to see it was Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. "You got that right," She said before taking a bite. "I was starting to get sick of it."

"Hey!" Rhuben and Sydney looked up to see Rhuben's twin sister, Riley, walking into Rhuben's room through the sliding door that connected it to hers. She had a mock look of annoyance on her face. "I thought you liked my soup."

"I did," Rhuben said around a mouthful of cookie dough. "But you'd get sick of it too if all you could eat and everyone else got ribs, and steak, and burgers, and fish, and-"

"Wow, do we really eat that badly?" Riley's eyebrows rose. "Guess we need to get back to the gym soon." She, Rhuben, and Sydney laughed. "Anyway, I came in to say Noah and I are going to 'try' and take Patrick to the doctor now."

"He needs to get blood drawn," Sydney said in a stage whisper to Rhuben, at her confused look. Rhuben raised her eyebrows and nodded slowly. It was no secret that out of everyone in their family, Patrick was the one was the most afraid of needles. He didn't like shots, hated getting his blood drawn, and practically kicked and screamed when h was getting a new tattoo. "And, well…" he started to stir his ice cream with his spoon. "It's my turn to go to the beach and hang out with the kids from the orphanage and they're gone, and Ronan's at a meeting…so I was wondering if you wanted to take me."

Rhuben laughed. "Oh, so you tried to butter me up with the ice cream?" She asked.

"Well, no," Sydney said honestly. His eyes filled with concern as he crossed his legs. Behind him, Riley leaned against the doorframe to their room. "I just didn't think you really kept anything down while you were sick and I was just making sure."

Rhuben gave a half smile and leaned forward, giving her brother a kiss on the forehead. "I'm fine," she said. Her stomach then cramped and she looked at her nearly finished bowl. "Ugh, but I guess I ate too fast." She lifted the bowl and placed it on her dresser.

"Are you ok?" Riley asked.

Rhuben rolled her eyes lightly, scratching her forehead. "Oh yeah, I'm fine." She had a slight edge to her tone. "How about you?"

"I will be with this," Riley lifted a little white pill from her pocket and held it up. "And when Patrick is back from the doctor. Though if he winds up murdered, you'll know why." She pushed herself up off of the doorframe as her siblings laughed. "See ya later." She gave the pace sign before leaving the room.

"See ya!" Sydney and Rhuben called back. Sydney turned back to Rhuben. "So, like I was saying, you can take me if you want. Ronan says you can as long as you don't go into the water until you're one hundred percent. But I'll be fine to take my bike."

Rhuben shook her head. "Nah, I'll go. I haven't been to the beach in a while and it's one of the few things that keep me from being bored until the guys get back." She and her siblings, the DarkElements were best friends with Big Time Rush. The two bands had been working together for about two years and counting. At that moment, the DarkElements were taking a year off of making new music and started their break back home in Australia, now they were back in LA, waiting for Big Time Rush to get back from their tour.

"Yay!" Sydney cheered, shoving his spoon into the air. "Ok, I'll go get ready!" He put his spoon into his mouth and took Rhuben's bowl. "I'll be back in a minute."

"No worries, Little Man." Rhuben swung her covers off of her bed and stood up, going over to her closet to get her bathing suit. Once she was changed into her bikini, shorts, and a black jacket, she went back to her desk to get her car keys. On the way there, she passed her mirror and turned to look into it. Rhuben tilted her head as she looked at her reflection. She lightly placed a hand on her stomach, feeling it cramp up again, wincing.

_Maybe I should've eaten an apple or something. _Rhuben turned from the mirror and grabbed her car keys before slipping her feet into a pair of punkrose high-tops and going down to the kitchen. She quickly wrote a note to her father, letting him know where they were going to be, and waited for Sydney. She rested against the sink, her arms crossed over her chest, willing the pain in her stomach to go away. A second later, she was leaning over the sink, the water running, dry heaving as waves of nausea washed over her. After a couple of minutes of nothing coming out, she turned off the water and stood up, resting her hands against the stainless steel, which felt cool under her hands.

She took a couple of deep breaths, waiting for the nausea to go away. She didn't hear Sydney come in behind her.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked in a small voice.

"I'm good." Rhuben pushed her hair from her face. She turned to Sydney and ran a hand through his hair. "You know how it is, some days are good, and some days are bad." Sydney nodded. "Come on," she took his hand and the two left the house, being sure to lock the door behind them. They then climbed into her car and drove to the beach.

Once there, Sydney pushed open the door and clambered out, rushing down the beach to a group of kids his age or younger. Every now and then, they and their brothers and sister would volunteer their time and spend a couple of hours on the beach with some kids from the nearby orphanage. They usually rotated turns or went all at once, when they figured they wouldn't be able to get there for a while, due to their obligations to their band.

Rhuben waved to Sydney before taking off her shoes. Holding them in one hand, she started to slowly walk across the beach. A small smile wormed its way onto her face as the sunlight and salt filled air hit her body. She hadn't been out of the house in a while and was glad the first place she went was the beach. She and her siblings were practically addicted to the beach. When they started their time off, there was hardly a day they weren't in the water or working out on the beach.

"Hey stranger!" Rhuben turned to see Dak Zevon jogging his way up to her. He gave her a warm smile as he fell into step with her. "Haven't seen you around in a while. How are you feeling?" His smile widened. "You look great, as usual."

"One statement at a time, Dizzy," Rhuben said, slowing her walk. "I'm not completely there yet." She pushed her hair behind her ear. "But thanks."

"So I heard you had the flu." Dak shoved his hands into his shorts pockets. "You feel better?"

"Not completely, but I'm getting there," Rhuben said. She lifted her head, the sunlight causing her to squint her dark blue eyes. "First time I've been out in a while."

Dak tilted his head back and laughed. "How come I'm not surprised to see you came to the beach first?"

"What?" Rhuben turned and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Did you think _you'd_ be the first person I wanted to see?"

Dak looked at her evenly. "You're the first person_ I_ want to see whenever I get back from New York," he said honestly.

Rhuben slowly nodded. He, the Teen Icon, had been obviously and persistently into her since they first met four years before, when she and her siblings first came to the US to see how the American market worked. They then started going back and forth since then with the help of Dak, but then made a transition to start working on their first American CD when they were sixteen, which caused them to meet and start helping Big Time Rush.

"Oh come on," Dak said teasingly. He reached out and poked her on the cheek. "You know you missed being able to see me every day."

Rhuben made a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a snort. "Is that what you tell yourself to feel better?" Rhuben shot back, her eyes flashing with challenge.

"I make your day a hundred times better and you know it," Dak continued. Rhuben gave a half smile. "I was wondering how long it would take for you to smile." He said, moving his hand to her chin. Rhuben pulled her head back.

"So what are you doing here?" Rhuben shifted her gaze away from Dak and back to her feet. She pulled her hood up over her head, not wanting to squint anymore. "At the beach, I mean?"

"Oh!" Dak pointed over his shoulder. "Lizzie _dragged_ me out here so she could check out some stuff at The Gove and we stopped off at the beach." He started to look around, shielding his face with his hand. "I'm sure she's around here somewhere."

"If you don't like to drive her, why don't you just let her get her license, boofhead?" Rhuben asked in a 'duh' tone. She smoothed down the back of her jacket and sat down on the ground, stretching her feet out into the sand. Dak sat down next to her, snorting loudly.

"She's a terrible driver, ask anyone." He rested his arms on his knees. "I don't want to put other people in danger until she actually gets good at it." He looked up as a little boy, around the age of six, hurried up the sand dune over to the two of them.

"Miss. Rhuben, are you feeling better?" He asked in his high-pitched voice as he stopped in front of her. "I missed you."

Rhuben smiled. "I missed you too, Briar," she said. "I've just been a little under the weather recently. It's been aggro." She held up her hands as Briar moved to give her a hug. "I don't want to get you sick, mate. But I'll be back soon."

"Ok." Briar pouted.

"Now go back to Syd, he'll be looking for you," Rhuben instructed. Briar nodded and waved before hurrying back down to the other kids. He joined them as they started to run back and forth from the water to the beach, trying to see if they could run as fast as a wave coming into shore.

"You're really good with kids," Dak noted, turning to look at her.

"That's sort of the point," Rhuben said. She kept her gaze on the water, slowly scanning back and forth. She lightly chewed on her bottom lip, taking a moment to think, before continuing. "Kids are too young to understand that when they grow up, life is crap. I'm good with kids and animals, but I suck with people."

"You don't suck with people," Dak reassured her. "If you did, you wouldn't have the friends you have now."

Rhuben winced lightly.

Both of them knew it was hard for her to even have the friends she had now. She and her siblings had been abused by their now ex-father since they were kids, and it caused them to push anyone who wanted to be friends away from them. Dak and his little sister Lizzie were the first ones to get through it, then Jo, Camille, Stephanie, then Big Time Rush, and Kendall's little sister Katie. They were all friends now, but it was very rocky with all of them at the beginning.

Honestly, there were times she didn't understand why they stuck around.

Dak studied her for a long moment before moving to stand up. "I better go," he said, grabbing his flip-flops and jamming them onto his feet.

"I didn't say you had to leave," Rhuben pointed out.

"You didn't have to. I know you well enough to know when you want to be alone." Dak brushed sand off of the back of his shorts before leaning over and resting a hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad you're feeling better though. I'll see you later." He gave her another smile before turning on his heel and walking back up the beach.

Rhuben sighed as she leaned forward and rested her arms on her knees. No matter how much he could annoy her, she knew he was always going to be there for her. But she wasn't sure how much longer he would stick around when he found out she wasn't as perfect as he thought she was.

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**A/N: **Just like the last one, this story is covering things we've mentioned in other stories/in the old timeline but haven't really shown. The only difference is that I've all ready said what it is in the first chapter, rather than drawing it out like I did with 'You're Not Alone'. This is a standalone sequel to 'You're Not Alone' meaning that it's in the same series, but the events of the first story haven't happened/don't affect this one at all.

So with the trigger warning, just so I don't hurt anyone that wants to read this, you had to know what the main plot of the story is. I got the idea for this fic after watching Demi Lovato's special on MTV about battling her eating disorder. I'm not a fan of Demi, but it still scared me when she was having Thanksgiving with her family and after one bite of food, said she couldn't finish it. I knew that I wanted to do this with Rhuben only for the fact that not many people do stories of someone after their anorexia has been treated. Most people don't get that anorexia never really goes away and that it's a long battle. Also, it brings up my main vice against _You're Not Alone _being that I wanted more of their family in it, but I wasn't sure how to do that, since they knew about Riley being bipolar, but having the fight and everything happened, so they ended up not knowing. I hated that, and decided to try doing something different here.

That being said, I have told you most of the plot for this story, but not the whole plot, so I hope you keep reading. I didn't want you all to have to wait too long for the upload, so here you go.

I hope that you guys liked it.

Cheers,

-Riles


	2. But girl you got me tongue tied

**.:Chapter 02:.**

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At dinner, Rhuben took a couple of bites of her pork chop and then swallowed. She looked at how much of it was left on her plate, and then dropped her fork. She used her index fingers to push her plate away. "I don't think I can eat anymore," she said quietly.

Ronan reached over and pushed the plate back. "Yes, you can," he said gently. "I know you can."

Rhuben bowed her head, clenching her hands into fists. "Please don't make me do this," she whispered her voice shaky. Her hands started to shake, just like they usually did when she was in emotional pain.

"You were doing so well today, Rhu," Noah said from her right.

"I know that!" Rhuben snapped, lifting her head. "Geez, do we have to make such a big deal out of it?" She rested her forehead against her upraised hand. "God," she whispered.

Ronan reached over and placed a hand on her head, getting rubbing the back of her head. "Listen, I'm not saying you have to force yourself to eat everything, I know some days are harder than others." Rhuben listened quietly. "But what you just had was not enough, can you at least try half of it?"

Rhuben sighed as she lifted her fork and started to poke at the pork chop. Around her, her siblings continued to eat their dinner, changing the subject to a football game they had watched the day before. Rhuben even found herself loosening up a little, getting in on the conversation. She and Riley didn't really understand football, but they liked to watch with their brothers and Ronan so they could bond together. Even though it took an hour longer than the rest of her family to finish their dinner, she managed to eat half of the plate.

"How do you feel?" Patrick asked, quietly as Riley moved around the table, taking their dirty dishes.

"Uncomfortably full," Rhuben said honestly. She looked up and blinked her thanks to Riley as she took her plate, who nodded back. She let out a sigh as she rubbed her hands over her face. "May I be excused?" She asked Ronan. "I have some homework to do."

He nodded and she got up from her chair, heading up to her room. Once there, she started to pace back and forth. She swiped her drum sticks off of her desk and stuck her ever present headphones into her ears. She batted the air with her drumsticks to the music she was listening to. It always calmed her down. After about six songs of this, she sat down at her desk and got started on the homework she had procrastinated on. She had only been working for an hour and a half, not really getting anywhere, when there was a knock at her door.

"Hey," she said, without turning around.

"Hey, what's up?" Dak asked, walking into the room. He paused for a minute, before going over to her desk. "I don't think I've _ever _heard your house this quiet before."

"That's what happens when we all need to do homework." Rhuben frowned down at the math problems that stared back at her in her notebook.

"How'd you know it was me?" He picked up a stress ball, squeezing it in his hand. "Before I even came in, I mean."

"I heard your footsteps coming up the stairs," Rhuben muttered in reply. "I recognize the way everyone walks. You're kind of heavy footed, though not as much as Ronan." She twisted her mouth to the side as she stared at a math problem in her notebook. She then looked at her watch. "Do you think it's too late to call Logie for help on this?" She studied his reaction out of the corner of her eye.

"I don't know." Dak leaned against her desk, crossing his arms over his chest. "What time is it in…" he thought for a moment. "Wherever they are?" He scratched the back of his neck. "I guess I have to keep closer tabs on that."

"Not really, 'cause you don't like Logie," Rhuben pointed out.

Dak frowned. "I like him just fine, _he_ doesn't like _me."_

_"_No, he just doesn't _know _you." Rhuben pointed her drumstick at him.

Dak smiled as he watched her. It was funny to him, since he first met her, noticed she almost always had headphones in her ears or drumsticks in her hands or in her hair. Easy access, she had explained, just in case I come up with something. It was the same reason she and her siblings always had a notebook on them, that way if they were suddenly struck with inspiration, they would stop whatever they were doing and write it down. It just proved to him they were as serious with their work now as they were back when they first started.

Even if they had been pushed into it.

"Listen... are you doing anything big on... say, Friday night?"

Rhuben didn't look away from her notebook, choosing to continue to work. She knew looking over at him would just cause her to tread into dangerous territory. "Not that I'm aware of," she said slowly, knowing what was coming next. "The guys aren't here to do tradition, but things pop up all the time."

"Well, if you aren't doing anything..." Dak squeezed the stress ball in his hand, casually. "Then maybe you'd like to go out? There's this old beach no one goes to anymore... maybe we could go there." Dak replied. He smiled, showing his teeth. "I know how much you like the beach."

"You're only saying that because you'd like to 'enjoy the view'." Rhuben used air quotes around the words. "You can be a flirt, but even James is more subtle than you are."

"It's not my fault you're so beautiful," Dak said.

Rhuben's face twitched, her free hand moving to her stomach. She wasn't good with compliments; she wasn't use to them, really. Sure got them a lot from Dak, she didn't remember a day where he _didn't _compliment her. But it wasn't like she was going to get over it in a few seconds. Her ex-father had drilled into her head over and over again that she was worthless and that no one would want her. How could she take one person saying something and just push the negative thoughts away?

"So why did you come all the way over here to ask rather than in text or something?" Rhuben continued to stall; her left hand worked a drumstick around her fingers.

"Because I prefer to do it in person," Dak replied with a half smile.

"Oh, like the first time you tried to ask me out and then you were so nervous you kept stuttering, didn't really get the question out and I shot you down cold, Dizzy?" Rhuben gave a wicked smile in reply.

"Hey, I was nervous." Dak defended himself. "Besides, that was four years ago." Rhuben shrugged, turning back to her notebook. "Ok, we've been playing this cat and mouse game for years why won't you go out with me?" Dak asked. "I'm only asking you on a date, not to commit a crime."

Rhuben smirked. "God knows, any crime you could come up with, I might have all ready done it." She shook her head, going back to the subject. "That aside, I have my reasons why." She twirled her pencil around her finger. "Because I'm not looking for a boyfriend. Because I want to focus on my family. Because you're not my type. Because you-"

"Because you like me back," Dak interrupted. Rhuben lifted her head for a moment before shaking it and leaning down again, focusing on her homework. She could feel herself starting to blush; if Dak noticed it, he didn't call her out on it. "It's the only thing that makes sense…" he licked his lips. "You and Riles, all of you, actually, you have this thing where you don't like to talk about your feelings. And while you can be good at hiding it, there are times where what you're feeling is glaringly obvious and you may as well talk about it." He reached over and closed her notebook, forcing Rhuben to look at him. "Just one date," he repeated. Rhuben leaned back in her chair, her eyes squinting behind her glasses. "And if you don't have fun, then I'd be fine if you're just my friend."

"Somehow I doubt that." Rhuben scratched the back of her neck. She looked over at Dak again and then sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "Ok, why not?" She said. _You have a million reasons why not and the one big reason…you know shouldn't hold you back. Don't stress Rhu, you'll be fine. It's just one night. _She noticed that he was still looking at her. "What?"

"What's wrong?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "Rhu, you're one of my best friends, I always know when something's bothering you. You hold your tension in your back, and now you look like a question mark."

"I just…" Rhuben spread her hands apart. "Nothing," she finally said.

"If you can't be vulnerable with your friends, who can you be vulnerable with?" Dak asked softly. "I get you're worried something could go wrong…" he frowned when she didn't reply. So he decided to try a different tactic. "Have I ever told you that you look cute in glasses?" he asked. His smile widened when Rhuben blushed again. He got up from the desk and set down the stress ball he had been squeezing the life out of. "See you later, Sugar Plum." He winked at her before leaving the room.

Rhuben smiled and shook her head as she went back to work.

* * *

That Friday night, Dak had arrived to pick Rhuben up when he said he would. Though Rhuben opted to meet him at The Grove or something first, knowing Patrick, Noah, or Sydney was going to do something to potentially piss her off. But he reassured her that picking her up would be fine and the two had left her house unscathed.

"I'm glad you're finally giving me a chance," Dak said truthfully. It was the first thing he had said as soon as they had gotten into the truck. Otherwise, he had just said hello, given her a warm smile, and promised Ronan he wouldn't have her back too late, though he knew she didn't have a curfew. Rhuben was a bit surprised herself, knowing he could be very talkative, but it was probably the quietest he had ever been. "I'm a bit surprised, actually."

"Well…" Rhuben shrugged lightly before re-tightening her side ponytail. "I figured there were only so many times I could say 'no', but you wouldn't stop asking anyway." She gave a sweet smile. "And I wanted you to stop."

"Ouch." Dak laughed as he turned the steering wheel sharply, directly his truck onto another road. "Way to kick a man when he's already down."

"You're down, but not out," Rhuben corrected, moving her hair from her face, rotating her purple and silver ring around her index finger.

"Good to know," Dak replied.

They continued driving for another twenty minutes before they arrived at the beach. But instead of pulling into a parking space, Dak drove right onto the beach, pulling in a ways before cutting off the power to the car. Rhuben frowned as she looked out her window at the dark water.

"I didn't say anything about going swimming." She said, turning to him with a confused expression. "Not that I don't enjoy going night swimming, but I don't particularly feel like being chased by the cops this time."

"We're not going swimming, though I'm not surprised about the cops part. You have mentioned you used to get in trouble back in Australia," Dak replied and got out of his seat, opening his door as wide as possible. "Stay here," He instructed before closing the door loudly. Rhuben shrugged and leaned back against her seat, waiting. She could hear Dak messing in the back of the truck, before he walked back over to her side of the truck and opened the door. He held out his hand and Rhuben placed hers in his, giving him a skeptical look as she helped her down from the car, closing the door behind her. "This way."

He led her to the back of the truck and lowered the flatbed, jumping into the back before pulling Rhuben up behind him. He then turned and motioned behind him to where two small plates of food had been set up. "Hungry?" He asked her.

"What's that?" Rhuben asked as she pointed at the display he had set up.

"I figured instead of being like every other guy on the planet who would take his date out to dinner or whatever, that we could just eat on the beach." he then pointed to the dark sky. "And look at the stars." His grin widened.

Rhuben looked at him, trying to keep a smile from sliding onto her face. "What if someone comes around?" she asked slowly. Dak nodded, knowing she was talking about word getting around to the magazines and gossip websites as well as spreading through their fans on their ScuttleButter and MyFace pages.

"That's what he's for," Dak pointed a little ways behind her and she turned around to see a police car sitting at the top of a sand-dune, his flood lights on. "I mentioned I was a friend of Big Time Rush and he said he has a niece who's a fan..." He grimaced. "Usually I don't name drop, but this was special."

Rhuben was stunned. "You really thought this through, didn't you?"

"Yep." Dak sat down, stretching out his legs as he grabbed a plate and motioned for her to sit down. She did so and he handed the plate to her before grabbing his own. He shrugged, looking embarrassed. "I actually had this planed for a long time." He spread his arms, resting his plate against his crossed legs. "And here we are."

"Here we are," Rhuben agreed, turning her plate in her hands before picking up her hotdog and moving to take a bite out of it. She paused and moved it away from her mouth. "You didn't make this did you? Cause I know you usually make dinner for you and your sister, when your mom's maid or whatever isn't around, but I have to say you're not the best cook in the world."

"Relax," Dak chuckled. "I got this from take out."

"Oh good, so it's not going to kill me." Rhuben replied before taking a bite. She ate less than half of the hot dog before putting it back down on the plate, feeling nausea wash over her. She moved a hand up to her mouth, quickly, before lowering it. _Relax, you just have to relax. You can beat it. _She picked up a napkin and wiped off her fingers before placing it over the hot dog, making sure it covered what was left over. "So how's being emancipated going?" she asked quietly.

Dak waved a hand as he continued chewing, before placing it over his mouth. "I'd rather _not_ talk about that," he mumbled.

Rhuben nodded. She wasn't going to press him for an answer. There were many times where she knew he wanted to ask her or talk about her parents' death or what sort of trouble she got in back home or talk about how things were going with Robert being gone now, but was wise when it was a good time to bring it up or not. It scared her, really, to know he knew her so well. She used to think only Logan knew so much about her, even when they didn't speak for a long time before meeting up again in LA. They picked things back up fairly quickly, but the years she and her siblings had spent with Dak and Lizzie, before they met Big Time Rush, had changed things a little.

"You have a nice truck," she complimented him, changing the subject. "If I had to guess it's a…" she paused to think. "A 2009 Black Dodge Hemi Ram?" She guessed.

"Yeah." Dak looked impressed. "How did you know that?"

"I love cars," Rhuben replied simply with a modest shrug. "My dad really got me into it as well as mechanics." She brought her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on her legs. "It didn't really help that one of my boyfriends was as obsessed as I was." She gave a peaceful smile. "He had a nice Mustang," she said wistfully. "It was hot.

"How am I supposed to compete with that?" Dak joked.

"You're not." Rhuben picked up a napkin. "Besides, I prefer trucks."

"Oh yeah." Dak's voice had a flirty lift to it. "Why's that?"

Rhuben took her time before answering. "More space," she said casually.

Dak smiled. "Now you're just messing with me."

"How would you know? You don't know what I'm thinking."

"And I like that about you," Dak admitted. "You're mysterious; I never know what you're thinking. But every mystery is solved. And I'm not giving u."

"You've been spending too much time with Kendall," Rhuben snorted. "You have mustard on your lip." She told him with a little laugh as she tossed it at him. Dak grabbed the napkin and quickly wiped his mouth as he finished what was left on his plate.

"Oh yeah," Dak nodded, stretching out his legs. He noticed Rhuben shivering a little and grabbed a jacket that was sitting beside him and handed it to her. "The boyfriend with the mustang that was…Mike, right?" He noticed Rhuben's confused expression as she took the coat. "I figured it would be cold." He explained.

"Uh," Rhuben wrapped her arms around her stomach, the sleeves of the coat falling over her hands. "Do you mind if we just sit in the truck?" She flushed, looking at her hands.

"Trying to get me alone?" Dak teased. "To make a move? You _did _say trucks have more space."

"I wouldn't be that corny, boofhead," Rhuben replied, lifting her chin.

"Then I don't mind all," Dak replied quickly. He got to his feet and jumped down from the flatbed of the truck, waiting for Rhuben to get down as well. He walked over and opened the passenger side door and helped Rhuben back into the truck before rounding the car to get back into the driver's seat. He started to pat his pocket for his keys.

"To answer your other question…" Rhuben shook her head, correcting him. "Mike was Riley's boyfriend, Matt was mine." She shook her head a bit bitterly and then looked over at him, her eyebrows raised. "I'm surprised you remembered," She said honestly.

"Why wouldn't I?" Dak asked as he paused in turning on the car, giving her a serious look. "You think I _want_ to act like one of your ex-boyfriends." He gave a short smirk. "If anything, it's a learning experience." He tilted his head to the side as he dropped his arms. "Just out of curiosity, have you or Riles told the other guys about your exes yet?"

"No," Rhuben shook her head, absentmindedly pulling at the bottom of her side-ponytail. "They probably wouldn't understand _why_ we went out with them in the first place if we told them. Plus, it'll just bring up a lot of stuff we're not ready to talk about yet."

"But you told me." Dak reminded her.

"That's because you were the first sorta-friend we made here," Rhuben replied with a slight shake of her head. She ventured giving him a small smile. "And we knew you wouldn't tell. And I trust you."

Dak gave a warm smile back.

"Good to know," Rhuben replied. She tilted her head to the side as she thought for a moment. "Come to think of it," Rhuben looked a bit surprised as she thought about it. "I don't think we've ever dated guys that weren't best friends or brothers." She noted.

Dak laughed as he put the keys in the ignition and turned the car on. "It took you _this _long to figure that out?" He asked and put the truck into reverse, putting his arm on her seat so he could see behind him. "I've known that for a while." He ignored Rhuben's hard look and pressed his foot on the break to move the truck into drive. "I'll get you home before your curfew." He flashed her a smile. "Before you turn into a pumpkin, Sugar Plum." That was a joke, neither of them had curfews, though Rhuben and her siblings like to get home before two in the morning at the latest, not wanting Ronan to worry.

"What a gentleman," Rhuben dead-panned as she rolled her eyes, although there was a small smile on her face.

"I try." Dak said as he carefully drove off of the beach. "So," he said slowly as he pulled up to a red light. "Did you have fun?"

"Surprisingly," Rhuben nodded slowly. "Yes." She then looked at him funny. "Ok, so why haven't tried to kiss me? Like, at all? The other 'dates' that we've been on, even if they were set up for PR, you'd try." She then gave a wicked smile. "And fail."

Dak shrugged one hand still on the steering wheel. "I guess I didn't want to push my luck."

She was silent for a moment. "Who said you would push your luck?" Dak turned to look at her and she leaned forward and kissed him. Dak smiled and kissed her back.

…

..

.

_I'll tell him eventually. Just, not right now. I don't want to ruin things, we have a tendency to ruin things and I want to push that away as long as I can. Besides this is the first time in a long time that I'm happy._

* * *

**A/N: **Ok, you might think it's a bit weird that Della are together (though not officially) this early in the story. BUT where this is set in the timeline (between seasons 2 and 3, closer to 3), and with the events that happen between them in season 3 for our timeline, it makes sense. So just keep that in mind. The ending part is what she wrote in her journal later.

Also, for those of you that have read _Elevate_ you'll recognize the beach scene here, I thought that it was good for a first date and wanted to re-work it so it fit this story. I really hope that you guys are liking it so far.

Cheers,

-Riles


	3. I try to breathe, but I'm frozen inside

**.:Chapter 03:.**

* * *

Dak crossed his legs and leaned back against the wall behind him, watching Lizzie's dance class through the glass window in the waiting room. He then glanced down at his watch before looking up and watching his sister once more. The class was almost over, and he knew that he was going to get an earful about every single thing that happened in her class that day.

_Why did it have to be summer vacation already? _Dak couldn't help the smile that wormed its way onto his face. Even though his sister could be a talker and talk about just about everything, you still couldn't deny that dancing was something that she loved. He wouldn't mind if it was that she was talking about rather than boys or dating. Besides, if she was preoccupied with dance class, she couldn't constantly bug him about dating Rhuben. Not that he really had a problem with that either, he talked about her enough _before_ they were dating, so it wasn't that different now.

He was just still surprised that he was given a chance, after waiting (and trying) for four years for the moment. Now he was as happy as he could be, maybe even happier. Especially because he didn't have to worry about his parents anymore, not until the emancipation thing was finalized. For now he was just going about his business and taking Lizzie around wherever she needed to go, hanging out with his friends, and being able to go on dates with his girlfriend. Ok, she wasn't his girlfriend yet, he knew that she liked to be asked first, but that didn't mean that he couldn't be enthusiastic about it.

Dak was shaken out of his thoughts when he heard voices fill the hallway. A group of girls were leaving the classroom, talking and giggling with each other. When some of them spotted Dak, they started to bat their eye lashes and wave, giggling some more when he gave a polite wave and smile back at them. While being the Teen Icon did have its perks at times, he was glad that he was moving on to musical theatre, which was more of his passion. Part of it, he admitted, was because his popularity had gone down since pop music came back on the scene in a big way, and another was because he didn't enjoy TV movies and kids' soundtracks as much as he used to.

Dak waited for Lizzie to leave the classroom. He frowned and looked back into the class when he didn't see her. He watched as her teacher said something to her, placing a hand on Lizzie's shoulder, causing her to frown. Her teacher then poked her in the stomach before picking up her dance bag and leaving the room. Lizzie went over to the corner of the room and grabbed a towel, wiping off her face, before she picked up her own bag, leaving the room.

"Hey," Dak said as soon as she left the room. She walked over to him, shifting her bag up her shoulder. "How was your class?"

"Oh it was fine." Lizzie shrugged.

Dak made an amused sound as he stood up to his 5'10" height, standing three inches taller than his sister. He gently tilted her head back. "You've got that pucker face," he said. "The same face you always make when you're about to cry."

"No I don'!" Lizzie insisted, shaking her head. Her blonde ponytail bobbed with her movements.

"What'd your teacher say?" Dak asked, looking at his sister in concern.

"It doesn't matter." Lizzie shrugged and turned away. Her eyes lit up when she spotted the McDonald's bag that was sitting next to Dak's phone. "Sweet! I'm starving!"

"Then stay hungry," Dak said. He reached over and grabbed the bag, swinging it out of her reach. "It's not for you." He grabbed his phone and stuck it into his pocket before putting his arm around Lizzie's shoulder, walking the two of them down the hall towards another dance class.

"Oh." Lizzie grinned up into Dak's face, causing him to roll his eyes. "It's for Rhu!" She hooked her arm through his. "You know, I'm really glad that she decided to give you a chance. It's been a long time coming. But I knew that you two were perfect for each other." Dak smile and listened quietly as she continued to talk. "Now all we need to do is get Kendall and Riley together and Katie and I'll have sisters!"

"Whoa!" Dak laughed. "How'd you go from dating someone to having a sister?"

"You're going to get married, I know you are," Lizzie said. She then pulled her phone out and started to scroll through it. "I wonder when Katie's getting home anyway."

Dak then understood it. Not that Lizzie didn't care about his personal life, the opposite was true. But the only times that she really, really, _really_ got into his business (even more so than usual) was when Katie Knight wasn't around. The two were best friends which was a bit strange to him, since I seemed that Katie wasn't the kind of girl that had girlfriends, and Lizzie wasn't able to keep them very well. Since she went to a performing arts school for dance, you never knew when a girl was really your friend or just using you to get to the top. But they became thick as thieves as soon as they met each other. But now Katie was gone to see a few shows on her brother's tour.

_Lizz must really be missing her, _Dak mused as they stopped at another dance class and sat down on the bench outside of it. _I'll have to talk to Riles and Rhubes about that. _But he couldn't help but smile a little at the thought of being married. Even though he was only nineteen years old, he knew that he was in love with Rhuben almost as soon as he had met her. He never was a believer of love at first sight, but at fifteen years old (when she was fourteen) she quickly threw that idea out the window and he fell head over heels.

The two watched as inside, the Jacksons, led their master dance class. Most people didn't know that volunteering was something that they enjoyed doing so if they weren't entertaining kids from the nearby orphanage on the beach, or Riley wasn't giving free guitar lessons or art classes, they liked to teach dance classes every Saturday morning, though they were mostly run by Rhuben. At that moment, she was walking slowly back and forth at the front of the room, watching as the dancers in front of her, moved to the steps that she and her siblings had taught them. Riley, Patrick, Noah, and Sydney were either dancing along with the class or were walking along the group, giving them quick pointers as they danced beside them, or were shouting out suggestions.

When the song that they were working on ended, Rhuben gave the class a bright smile and clapped for them before saying something and starting the boom box again. The music was so loud that it rattled the glass window. Her siblings moved to join her, and the class started up a dance class again.

Dak leaned forward in his seat as he watched, resting his chin in his hand. A proud smile slid onto his face. He couldn't help but watch whenever Rhuben was dancing, even after a little over a week away from it while she was sick, she danced just as gracefully and powerfully as she did before. Even if she messed up, it would still look like it fit into the routine. _I doubt I'll ever make her smile as much as dancing does, but I'm glad that there's something that makes her that happy in life._

"Yo, bro." Lizzie poked Dak in the cheek, getting his attention. "You got that creepy smile on your face again." She batted her eyelashes teasingly. "If someone walked by, they'd think you were a perv or something." Dak laughed as he sat up straight. "You really care about her don't you?"

"You have no idea," Dak replied quietly.

The two waited for the class to end. Just as the Jacksons were leaving the room, Lizzie bounced to her feet and hurried over to Patrick and Noah, her two best friends besides Katie, though she loved hanging out with each of the Jacksons. "Hey boys," She greeted them. "Great job!" She moved in between the two of them and stuck her arms around theirs.

"Oh, sorry," Noah apologized, wiping his forehead with his arm. "We're kinda sweaty.

"That's ok," Lizzie said quickly, with a smile. "I don't mind, now, how about you buy me something to eat since Dak won't share." She stuck her tongue out at her brother.

"I'm going to share, just not with you!" Dak stuck his tongue out as well before turning to Rhuben, holding out the McDonald's bag. "Hungry?"

"I am actually," Rhuben said with a small smile and a nod. She blushed when Dak leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. She took a small step back. "Thanks." She took the bag and opened it, looking inside. "Sweet, Bacon Angus burger!"

"Aww, no fair!" Sydney's smile wilted. He turned to Rhuben and grabbed onto her wait, tilting his head back and widening his already big eyes. "Can I have a bite?" He asked in a pitiful tone, causing Rhuben to laugh.

"Where's our food, Zevon?" Riley asked, her eyes flashing and a smirk on her face.

Dak shrugged carelessly, turning to her. "I don't care about you nearly enough," he said and then gave a mock shrug. Riley's eyebrow twitched before she moved to the side, swinging her dace bag into Dak's arm. "Ow!"

"Oh, sorry!" Riley widened her eyes innocently. "Did I just hit you with my bag? I'm such a klutz." She turned to Sydney. "Relax Little Man; I'll stop by Maccas or In-N-Out or Pinky's on the way back, your choice." She then turned to Lizzie. "You coming with us, Lil' Bit? I got the van today." She waved the car keys around to prove her point.

Lizzie glanced at Dak out of the corner of her eye and Dak nodded, widening his eyes slightly. "Sure," Lizzie replied. She then tugged on Patrick's and Noah's arms. "And like I said, these boys have to buy me food."

"If we bought you food all the time, you'd run me out of my paycheck from the café in a week," Patrick teased her. Noah laughed as Lizzie elbowed him in the side.

"Before we go…" Lizzie let go of the twin brothers and turned to Rhuben. The elder teenage girl gave Lizzie a curious glance, still holding onto her bag of food. One hand was inside and the other was holding it up. "Could I please move up into your guys' dance class? I promise I won't cramp your style."

"Uh." Rhuben's mouth dropped open and she looked over at her siblings. Riley grimaced, Patrick looked at the ceiling, Noah looked at his feet, and Sydney was suddenly interested in his phone.

"I don't…think that's a good idea," Noah said slowly, opting to be the one to speak. He quickly continued when Lizzie looked hurt. "Not that we don't think you're good, because you are. But…" he thought for a moment. "Our class is for people more at the professional level. And while dancing is something you're passionate about, you've only been doing it for four years and the kids that are in it have been dancing since they were, like, born, mate,"

"And…" Riley jumped in. "With Steph, it's because we hired her as a backup dancer that she's in some of them, but she'd been dancing as a hobby all her life." She shrugged, exchanging a glance with her sister. "We don't want to put too much pressure on you before you're ready. Sorry."

"It's ok," Lizzie nodded. "I understand."

Rhuben noticed the disappointed look on Lizzie's face and moved to her side, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Hey," she said kindly. "How about later this weekend you and I can get some practice done. I'll even show you one of the routines that we've been doing and expanding on for years. How about that?"

"Really?" Lizzie quickly bounced back, her eyes lighting up. "Oh that's so cool! Thanks Rhubes!"

"Uh-oh, it looks like you've started something," Sydney said. He let out a sigh and shook his head. "Now we have to listen to this all the way home from getting food." He turned to Riley. "Speaking of, can we get ice cream too?"

"Something tells me I'm paying for all of this." Riley scratched her forehead.

"Because you are," Patrick put his arm around Riley's shoulders. "Now, let's go! I'm starving!" He turned around and bumped into a girl, quickly backing up. "Sorry shiela didn't see you there," he quickly apologized. "You ok, sweetheart?"

Lizzie rolled her eyes at Patrick before turning to the girl. "Hey Sophie," she greeted. "What's up?"

"Not much." Sophie gave a small smile. "I was just waiting for my sister." She jerked her head to an older woman, in her mid twenties, who had just come out of the Jacksons' class. "But I heard you asking if you could leave our class and go into theirs." Her cruel smile widened. "I can't believe you thought that you'd get in. You're not even that good a dancer anyway."

"I'm a good dancer!" Lizzie scowled.

"Right and that's why Miss. Gina is constantly correcting you," Sophie said.

"Excuse me." Rhuben tightened her grip on Lizzie's shoulder as she turned to Sophie. "You said that Hayley is your sister right?" Sophie stood up straight and nodded, giving Rhuben a bright smile.

_Suck up, _Dak shook his head in amusement.

"Well, I don't think she'd be pleased to hear that you've been making fun of another classmate," Rhuben said calmly, although there was a cold edge to her tone. "In that case, one who must be very talented to get a class here as well as attending the performing arts school nearby. That being said, if a teacher is taking the time to correct someone, it's because they want them to succeed, not to embarrass them. I don't want to hear you making fun of my friend again, go it?"

"Yes," Sophie mumbled looking at her feet. She blushed with embarrassment as she turned and went over to her sister.

"Thanks," Lizzie said quietly, turning to Rhuben.

"No problem." Rhuben crossed her arms over her chest, her right hand forming a fist that choked the neck of the McDonald's bag. "That reminds me." She looked at Riley. "When are Katie and Mama Knight getting back?"

"Umm…" Riley rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, I was talking to Kendall last night-"

"-All night long-"Patrick broke in.

"-and he said that they should be back soon." Riley ignored her brother. "They're doing a few shows in Canada before they got to Washington or whatever and then come back to LA. So she and Mama Knight are going to their last shows in Canada and then they're coming back here while the guys are still tour."

"Speaking of," Dak said slowly. "Have you figured out if you're ever going to tell Kendall that you like him?" Riley scowled at him and he shrugged. "What? I just want you to be happy, Rage. And I'm being completely serious."

"I was planning on telling him when they got back," Riley said slowly. She looked embarrassed. "Like, at the party that we're throwing for them when they get back, but…"

"Oh no!" Patrick stuck a finger in her face. "You all ready said that you would, you're not backing out now." He grabbed onto her hand. "C'mon, we'll talk about it over the food that you buy us." He started to drag her off down the hall. Noah, Lizzie, and Sydney followed them.

Dak chuckled before turning to Rhuben, who was handing him the bag of McDonald's food. "So how's your day going so far?" He asked her. He motioned over to the window. "You looked really good, like usual. Like you weren't sick at all."

"I felt good," Rhuben agreed, her hands lightly resting on her bag. She looked like she didn't know what to do. "I mean, I couldn't dance for over a week, I nearly went crazy. Not to say that Patrick didn't do a good job, taking over for me while I was gone. But…" She shrugged. "Ronan was just being cautious and didn't want me to overexert myself. Can't blame him for that."

"Definitely not," Dak agreed. He reached out and grabbed onto her hand, giving it a squeeze. He smiled when Rhuben blushed again. "He hasn't had kids before and just cares about you guys." He let go of her hand and went back to the bag of food, opening it. He then blinked in surprise and looked up at Rhuben. "You finished yours all ready?" He asked.

Rhuben's face twitched. "I said I was hungry," she said. "Having the stomach flu isn't fun you know."

Dak laughed as he sat down on the bench and patted the spot next to him. "D'you mind waiting for me to finish before we go to the movies?"

"No worries." Rhuben pulled her dance bag off over her head and set it on the ground. She pointed over her shoulder. "I just have to go to the bathroom real fast." Dak nodded and she turned on her heel, disappearing down the hallway.

Dak finished up his lunch and pulled out his phone, looking at the movie times while he waited for her to get back. He then looked through his ScuttleButter, smiling when he saw pictures of his friends while they were on tour. He replied to a few that were sent to him, smiled even wider at the ScuttButts that said that he and Rhuben were a cute couple, and then started to play Temple Run as he waited for Rhuben to get back. _She sure is taking a long time. _He glanced at the time on his phone, acknowledging the picture of him, Rhuben, and Lizzie that was his background.

"Do you always smile this much when I'm not around?" Rhuben asked as she walked back over to him. She was looking at him strangely. "I have to admit, it's kinda creepy."

"I smile even more when I'm around you," Dak flirted back. He stood up and grabbed his stuff. He paused when he looked at her, noticing that she seemed a bit worn out. "Are you ok?" Dak looked at her in concern. "You look kind of pale."

"Ah, yeah, I'm fine." Rhuben smiled and nodded.

* * *

**A/N: **And now chapter three is up. I hope you guys liked it.

Cheers,

-Riles


	4. I try to move but I'm stuck in my shoes

**.:Chapter 04:.**

* * *

_Ding dong!_

"Could someone please get the door?" Ronan called from the kitchen. "I'm a little busy."

"I got it!" Sydney leapt to his feet on the couch. He jumped over Rhuben and Patrick, who were watching TV and landed on the ground with a thud before racing over to the front door. Rhuben tilted her head up, as she was lying down, playing a Nintendo 3DS, and looked over at Patrick, who chuckled as he continued to move through the channels on the TV. "Dak and Lizzie are here!" Sydney announced as he came back into the living room. He leaned over Patrick and grabbed the remote from his hand, changing the channel.

Patrick made a noise of annoyance and leapt after his brother to grab it from him.

Rhuben looked up from her Nintendo 3DS and paused the game before rolling off the couch, to her feet, and walking over to the siblings. They had entered the den and were just taking off their shoes as she approached. "Hey, what are you guys doing here?" She asked, giving Lizzie a quick hug before giving Dak one. He leaned down and gave her a quick peck on the cheek as Lizzie went into the living room. "Well, Lizz asked Noah out on a date and Mom wanted me to-"

"Wait." Rhuben briefly closed her eyes. "Lizzie asked Noah out on a date?" Dak nodded. "When'd she do that?" She placed her hands on her hips as she looked up towards the staircase. "More importantly, why didn't he tell me? He's going to get his ass kicked later."

Dak laughed quietly, sticking his hands into his jeans pockets. "Like I was saying, Lizzie asked Noah out on a date and Mom wants me to chaperone. So…" he gave a charming smile. "Will you go on a date with me, tonight?"

Rhuben narrowed her eyes. "I'm guessing when you say that your mom wants you chaperone her, you're doing it on your own free will just so you can continue to watch her like a hawk?" She guessed.

"You didn't answer my question." Dak deflected the question. "Think of it this way…" he put his arm around her shoulders. "You get to spend the whole night with me…and you get to admire me up close instead of from afar. Which is a treat to you, because I look so good."

Rhuben cracked a small smile. "Oh, you mean because of your physique?" She looked towards the ceiling before looking at him again. "I have to admit that I _do_ like your upper body." Dak's smile widened. "But nothing can beat James's abs." She smacked him in the stomach. "Sorry."

"Ha ha." Dak rolled his eyes as the two walked into the living room. Rhuben continued walking, not paying any attention to Patrick and Sydney, who Lizzie was laughing at. Patrick was pinned to the floor with Sydney on his back, still trying to get to the remote that he was holding over his head. "I keep forgetting how…lively you guys are."

"Ronan uses 'crazy' but lively is good," Rhuben remarked. She and Dak walked into the kitchen where Ronan and Riley were making dinner, from the smell, she could guess that it was spaghetti. "Hey, Ronan," she said, getting her father's attention. He looked up and smiled and nodded at Dak, turning away from the stove. "Dak says that his mom wants us to chaperone Lizzie and No's date tonight."

"Lizz asked No out?" Riley's eyebrows rose before looked curious. "How come he didn't tell us?"

"I was wondering the same thing," Rhuben said. She turned back to Ronan. "So we're going to leave in a few minutes, I guess."

"You're all welcome to stay for dinner if you want," Ronan said kindly. "We're just having spaghetti. And I have a cake for dessert."

"Red Velvet?" Riley's and Rhuben's eyes lit up as they turned to their father with excited looks on their faces. They cheered when Ronan nodded.

Dak laughed loudly. It was moments like those that he enjoyed about going over to the Jacksons house. It was much more lively than his own, and it was always funny for him to see how their mannerisms were all the same to each other.

"So, are you going to stay and eat?"

"Say 'no'," Riley spoke up. She gave Dak a sweet smile as she tilted her head to the side. "I don't want to have to look at his face across from me all dinner long. It might make me lose my appetite." She smirked.

"Oh but you and I both know that you love my face." Dak moved over and grabbed Riley's face in one of his hands, squeezing her cheeks. He pretended to look really hard at her face. "You know, you have to shave your mustache." Ronan laughed.

"At least I can grow one," Riley shot back. "Baby's butt." She reached up and pushed Dak's face away from hers, effectively pushing him out of her space.

Ronan wiped his hands off on a dishtowel before he leaned against a counter, crossing his arms over his chest. "That reminds me of when you brought these guys to New York with you. The one guy that was obsessed with having a clean shaven face, each time a hair sprouted up in his bead."

"Oh yeah!" Dak snapped his fingers. "The one that bought out all of the shaving cream from the drug store that we stopped in when you all needed to get more hair dye." He laughed a little. "And that's only some of the tame things that you see out there."

Rhuben slowly nodded. It had been a while since they went out to New York, now she and her siblings only went if it was a stop for a tour date. It was funny because they really hated the cold, and they made sure that when they got off stage, they had jackets or sweatshirts to wear. But they had gone to New York with Dak shortly after they first met him, and thought they didn't admit it to him for a while, they had a really good time there. It was in the summer so it wasn't hot and they were able to go busking as well as see some of the Broadway shows that were there. The highlight for the five of them was being able to go to the Apollo Theatre.

_So why's he bringing it up now? _Rhuben watched as Dak continued to talk to Ronan and Riley about New York.

She had one thought why, and it was something that she and her siblings talked about every now and then. There were times that they thought that Dak was jealous over how much time that they spent with BTR, since it was the same amount of time that they had spent with Dak when they first started to working together. But it just made her think, was he jealous? They spent most of their time with BTR because they were under the same contract and while Dak understood, he wasn't in the same boat as them. He only did TV movies and TV shows and sang in a couple of stage plays on the side before he started to do Broadway and off Broadway musical theatre stuff. So he didn't know firsthand how tiring and time consuming everything was from recording to rehearsal to re-recording, to working with other artists, to writing lyrics, and touring…not exactly.

Rhuben shook her head and leaned over, grabbing a set of keys off of the hook by the cabinets. "Anyway, we should get going, so I'll take my car-"

"Oh no. I'm driving." Dak interrupted, turning to her. Rhuben started to drum her fingertips on the counter tops, looking at him sharply as he had interrupted her. "You drive way too slow."

"Better be safe than sorry," She said.

"Yeah, and I'd like to get to wherever I need to go on time instead of late."

"So leave early."

"I all ready do." Dak grabbed the keys from her hand and put them back on the hook before putting it back. "Besides, I drove here, and I don't want Patrick and Sydney to use my truck as target practice for their paintball guns again." He looked sharply over at Riley who gave him an innocent look.

"You told me that you were trading it in for a new one so you didn't care what happened to it. It's not my fault that when I told them they decided to do that. For all you know Syd could have mixed up some sort of chemical and blow it up." Ronan reached over and put an arm around Riley's neck, pulling her into his side, using his hand and pressing it over her mouth, effectively silencing her.

"Anyway, I have to show you something." Dak reached out and grabbed onto Rhuben's hand, lightly tugging it so she jumped off of the counter. She allowed herself to get pulled out of the kitchen and into the small area by the staircase.

"What'd you want to show me?" Rhuben asked.

"Nothing." Dak turned and leaned towards her. "I just wanted to get you alone." He captured her lips in a kiss. Rhuben kissed him back, resting her hands on his shoulders. She let out a soft sigh as he moved his hands to her waist. He pulled back, smiling down at her. "I'm surprised you didn't see it coming."

"I did." Rhuben burst his bubble. "But I figured that I'd stoke your ego after Riles blew it to smithereens." She patted his face, trying not to laugh. "Baby's butt. You have to admit, that's really funny."

"It was a shot to my masculinity, it's never funny," Dak said.

"God, you can be such a girl sometimes." Rhuben dropped her arms and crossed them over her chest, giving a teasing smile. "It can be a real turn off, you know."

"That's impossible, because everything I do is a turn on," Dak denied. He then pouted, sticking out his bottom lip. "But that really hurt, Sugar Plum, you have to kiss it to make it better."

"If you could do that when I'm _not_ here, that'd be great," Noah commented as he walked down the stairs behind them. He gave a peaceful smile as she sat down on the steps and rested his elbows on his knees, lightly pulling at the snake bite piercings under his lip. "Though I think I can handle anything as long as it's not Logan and Camille status."

Rhuben pursed her lips as she turned to her brother and stared hard at him. "What?" He asked, shifting on the step.

"How come you didn't tell us that Lizzie asked you out?" She lightly poked him in the forehead. "We have to chaperone." She motioned to herself and Dak. "Since he's so anal retentive," she said to her brother in a stage-whisper.

"Cause it was basically a drive-by getting asked out," Noah said with a half smile. "I didn't even know that it happened until she was planning on going to the Grove and playing laser tag and checking out some stores." He shrugged. "Which is really like her, but still. It happened so fast."

Rhuben smiled and ruffled his hair. He pushed her hand away and fixed it before stretching out his legs, leaning back and resting his arms on the steps behind him. "Is she ready to go?" He nervously played with the necklace that was under his shirt.

"Hold on." Rhuben turned from the staircase and went to the living room. She raised an eyebrow when she spotted Patrick leaning over the back of the couch, waving his arms, trying to reach Sydney, who had squeezed into the small space and was still holding the remote hostage. She then turned to the bathroom when she noticed the light was on. "I'm guessing she's in the bathroom," she said, walking back over to Dak and Noah.

"Hmm, yeah, I think she's getting over a bought of food poisoning," Dak said, looking thoughtful. "For the past couple of days, every time she eats something, she just throws it back up."

Rhuben froze before sliding her eyes over to Noah. He was looking back at her, and she was sure that the two of them were thinking the same thing. A wave of guilty washed over her, making her feel a bit sick. She closed her eyes and took a breath before casually turning to Dak. "Maybe you should keep an eye on her," she said calmly. "I mean, she's been pushing herself with dance classes and now she may be getting sick. Maybe she should cut back on her dancing for a bit to make sure that she's better."

"I have been," Dak said. He rubbed his chin. "But she gets, like, really defensive if I ever bring it up. But I guess she's just cranky from being so sick."

Noah made a sound at the back of his throat.

"No, I'm serious." Rhuben tightened her grip on Dak's arm. "Keep an eye on her. It might be something else." She bit her lip as she looked away. "You never know," she said slowly. "With girls there's usually something going on that they're not saying, which makes them act differently. So watch her closely."

"Ok, I will." Dak nodded. He peered at her, angling his head so he could look right into her eyes. "Is something you want to talk about?"

"No." Rhuben dropped her hand from his arm. "And just leave it at that."

* * *

**A/N: **I bet you wanted to see Noah's and Lizzie date, but I'm saving that for another story.

Cheers,

-Riles


	5. I'd make a move if I had the guts to

**.:Chapter 05:.**

* * *

Rhuben looked at her phone as it buzzed and let out a sigh when she saw the alarm going off. She turned off the alarm and pushed a pile of photo prints away from her, smiling a little bit at the pictures of babies and puppies that had been captured. WayneWayne had asked if she wanted to help his sister, Jaycee to take pictures for an appointment that a couple had set up months ago, to get their baby to have photos done. Considering how quickly her stomach was starting to show, it was harder for her to move her equipment around as well as get the shots done from low angles. So while Sam, her husband, was gone, WayneWayne helped her move the equipment around and sat with her while Rhuben instructed the young family how to pose and where the lighting was to get the pictures done.

She thought that they came out well. Jaycee was even so impressed that she asked Rhuben to come back and help her again whenever she got the chance. Though Rhuben was thrilled for the opportunity, she had to turn it down for the moment, no knowing what her scheduling looked like, especially when events and appearances could pop up out of nowhere when she least expected it. But she had the opportunity and she was going to take it when she could.

There was a _bing_ sound on her computer and she turned back to her conversation with Logan. Her heart fell as she continued to read over their conversation.

**RockyRhu10: **So these are some of the pictures that I took to help Jaycee. Don't forget to share them with the others.

**Logaine: **These are amazing, Bella! Seriously, you have such a talent when it comes to the lighting and stuff.

**RockyRhu10: **The 'lighting and stuff'? Haha. Thanks Logie-Bear.

**Logaine:** Well, I don't know everything that goes with the process of taking a good picture. I just aim and shoot. You can make everything look amazing.

**Logaine: **This is Kendall. Gustavo was saying that he wanted us to do some single photo shoots and hired us a professional. But I want you to take my pictures. Can you? When we get back?

**RockyRhu10: **Sure. I just need to know what sort of theme or mood that you would want for your shoot. That way I know what sort of landscape to use as the back drop.

**Logaine: **This is Logan again. Sorry, he grabbed my laptop.

**RockyRhu10: **No worries.

**Logaine: **He just went to go tell Gustavo hat he wants to hire you for his shoot. You should probably hear him screaming in the next twelve seconds. Haha. But seriously, Bella. I'm proud of you. Even though you have so much going on, you still manage to be able to do what you love. Not many people can do that.

**RockyRhu10: **Thanks. See you when you get back.

**Logaine: **Bye, Bella.

Rhuben frowned as she reached out and closed her laptop firmly. _Proud? Yeah right! _She put her laptop on her bed before she changed into a pair of shorts and a large black jacket, pulling the hood up over her head. She then grabbed her dance bag and slung it over her head and slid on her favorite pair of punkrose high tops before leaving her room. After bidding goodbye to Ronan, and explaining where she was going, she got into her car and started to drive down to the dance studio. Along the way there, she felt her fingertips starts to tingle. She let out a weary sigh. _Pull it together, Rhu. You're ok, you've been ok for a long time, you can get past this._

When she pulled up at the dance studio, Dak and Lizzie were already waiting outside for her. Lizzie hurried over to her and looped her arm through hers, talking a mile at a minute and bouncing up and down on her toes. Rhuben gave her a weak smile, trying to focus on what Lizzie was saying.

"I'm so glad that you're going to sit in on my class today," She said, her green eyes shining. "It's going to be so cool. Well, maybe you should watch out for the other girls, they can be such suck ups sometimes. But Miss. Gina usually keeps us all in line." She stopped and frowned, looking at her feet as if she was trying to focus. "There was something else…but I can't remember." She shrugged. "Oh well, today we're working on this-"

"Stop and let her breathe would ya!" Dak held up his hands. "You didn't even let her say 'hi'." Rhuben gave him a smile of thanks as Lizzie pouted and moved away from Rhuben. "Sorry about that," he apologized. "She's been acting kind of weird, lately."

_I can't imagine why. _Rhuben twisted her mouth to the side before quickly returning the kiss that Dak gave her. She looked over her shoulder, glancing across the parking lot as he stepped back, smiling down at her.

"Is something wrong?" Dak asked.

"No." Rhuben ran a hand through her hair. "Just kind of tired. C'mon…" she tilted her head towards the building. "Or she's going to be late."

The three walked into the dance studio and waited for Lizzie to get changed into her dance clothes. Then Dak sat out in the waiting room, to watch through the glass window as Rhuben went inside and sat down in the corner of the room. She nodded towards Miss. Gina when she came in. Though she had taken all of her dance classes back home in Sydney, Australia, before volunteering to teach them in LA, she had never really liked Miss. Gina. Though she had to admit the woman knew what she was doing, there was something off about her that she didn't particularly like. Even though she couldn't exactly put her finger on it.

Lizzie moved to her spot in the room and started to stretch, talking a mile a minute to the girls around her, who were stretching as well. The only person that didn't seem to be into socializing was Sophie. Rhuben watched with a frown on her face as the other girl stretched by herself, looking at herself in the mirror. If Rhuben had to guess, she was counting out the steps in her head for the routine that they were working on.

She tried not to snort as Miss. Gina started to class, a wave of bitterness washing over her. _If they really knew how hard it was, I doubt that half of these kids would still be in here. _Rhuben raised her knees up to her chest and rested her arms on her knees as she watched the start of the class. _Though I do have to admit that they're good. Hopefully after a couple of years they still want this as badly as they do now. _She started to twirl her ring around her finger. _I still want it, but I'm glad that it's not under the same kind of pressure as before._

That was the way that the dance class moved for a while. She sat in the corner and watched as the young girls dance across the floor and listened to the teacher give her critique on the moves that they had done. There was really nothing out of the ordinary there, so why did she fell like something bad was going to happen? It wasn't a feeling that she usually ignored, she and her siblings typically got a vibe that something was going on with someone even before they said it or even acknowledge it. But now…

She was calm at fist.

She had been sitting on the floor in the dance class, watching as Lizzie danced her heart out. She was sitting there, trying not to blush or get annoyed by the constant smiles that Dak was sending her way. She was even planning out Big Time Rush's 'welcome home' party and had been completely calm.

Then the calm broke.

Suddenly her breathing was staggered, and she was out of breath no matter how deep her breathing was. Her heart was in pain. She was shaking. She freaked out. The room around her started to warp and turn fuzzy. There was a loud droning sound in her ears. She started to dry heave. She curled up into a ball, wrapping her arms tightly around her legs, resting her forehead against her knees.

What was happening? When would it stop?

_Make it stop..._

_Make it STOP..._

_MAKE. IT. STOP._

**_STOP!_**

She couldn't do this. She threw her head down, in between her knees, and counted backwards from 10, her favorite number, to 0 and back again. Over and over. Over and over. It usually helped...She suddenly had to break deeply to get a full breath. Something bad was going to happen. A sense of impending doom fell over her. Soon enough she was having _another_ panic attack, unexplained, the second today.

She started to count quietly.

"T-t-ten...n-n-..ni...nine.."

It wasn't working.

It wasn't working itwasn'tworkingitwasn'tworkingITWASN'TWORKING!

She panicked more. She was in the corner, her arms curled around her legs, sweating and crying and shaking and gagging and hyperventilating. It needed to stop...the counting wasn't working.

She didn't know what to do.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Rhu!"

"Is she ok?"

"What's wrong with her?"

"Miss. Jackson, are you ok?" There was a pause and a brief scattering sound. Then the sound of a door being opened and closed. She felt a familiar hand on her wrist and felt relaxed, if only a little bit. Her vision started to go dark.

"Hey, Sugar Plum, wake up. Wake up!"

The darkness consumed her….

* * *

"Oh, I think she's waking up!"

"Don't get too close, Lizzard, give her some space to breathe."

Rhuben frowned, her eyes still closed, as she felt something on her forehead. She reached up and knocked off the damp paper towel that had been resting on her and opened her eyes. She moved her hand over her face to shield the bright fluorescent light that was in her way. When her eyes adjusted, she saw Lizzie, Dak, and Miss. Gina leaning over her.

"Don't worry, Miss. Jackson, I already called your father and he said that he'll be here soon," Miss. Gina said before disappearing from sight.

"Great," Rhuben muttered. She sat up, causing Dak and Lizzie to take a step back, rubbing her neck. She grabbed her jacket that had been balled up in a pillow and rested under her head. "What?" She snapped, noticing that the two of them were watching her.

"Are you ok?" Lizzie asked softly.

"'Course I am," Rhuben said. She pulled her hood up over her head and reached for her shoes. "Don't I look ok?"

"Actually, you look really pale," Dak said. He was kneeling on the floor next to her, watching her every move. "And you just passed out, so I don't' really think you're ok to start moving this fast." He reached his hand out to place on her shoulder and push her back down, but she slapped his hand away. He tried again and got the same results.

"Leave me alone," Rhuben muttered, lacing her shoes as fast as she could. "I'm fine."

"So what'd you pass out from?" Dak asked, concern lacing his tone. "It has to be from something. You don't pass out from nothing? Are you feeling sick? Did you get dizzy again? 'Cause I heard after you get the stomach flu, it could take a while for you to get back to-"

"Dak, shut up!" Rhuben snapped, her eyes flashing. And everything poured out of her in that one second. She was tired of keeping everything bottled up; it was just starting to get on her last nerve. And if she was going to pass out each and every time she kept something in that long, it would probably kill her. "God, can't I have, like, a minute of you _not_ asking me questions." She managed to get one shoe on and was quickly lacing up the other. "I just told you, I'm fine! Why won't you believe that?" She then rolled her eyes. "Right, I know. It's because you _care_." She sneered.

"I didn't think there was anything wrong with caring." Dak frowned.

"Of course _you _don't." Rhuben got to her feet and placed her hands on her hips. "You don't even care that your sister isn't sick with the stomach flu. You can't catch the stomach flu after someone else has already gotten over it." She rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner. "Geez, you're nineteen years old, you think that you'd be smarter than this!"

"Rhu…" Lizzie widened her eyes pleadingly.

At that, Rhuben turned to Lizzie, her eyes flashing. "God and you're so _stupid_ for wanting to do this in the first place! Dancing isn't for everyone and there's a reason why! It's fucking dangerous!" She waved her hands in the air. "But noooo, all you wanted to do was emulate _me_ and try to impress me by doing this."

"Wait a minute-"

Rhuben ignored Dak. "The first time I did the seminar at your school and you asked about being a dancer, I warned you off of it. But you kept saying that this is what you wanted to do and because I inspired you to do it. Well, thank you very much, now I've inspired you to be sick!"

"Hold on!" Dak moved in between Lizzie, who looked like she was about to start crying, and Rhuben, grabbing onto her shoulders. Rhuben tried to pull away from him, but he held a tight grip on her. "You need to calm down and stop screaming at her."

"Do you want me to scream at you?" Rhuben asked, raising her eyebrows, her voice lowered. "Not like you'd get the hint. You never do. All you see is what you want. All _you_ see in me is someone who's perfect and can't do anything wrong. And you see the same thing with your sister."

"If that's what you think, then you're crazy." Dak removed his hands from her shoulders, his eyes flashing. He took a step back away from her and towards his sister, who was now silently crying. "You don't understand-"

"No, _you_ don't understand!" Rhuben jabbed him in the chest.

"Don't hit me," Dak warned, pushing her hand away.

"You don't understand that for the past four years, this girl had gone through one of the most difficult professions. You don't understand that as a girl, there's pressure being thrown at her from all sides, having to be looked at in a certain way, having to _look_ a certain way. You know why I tried to tell her not to do this? It's the same reason that I told her that she couldn't be in our dance class. The same reason why the others said that she couldn't be in it either…" she looked away from Dak, her chest heaving up and down as she tried to keep herself from crying. She then turned back to Dak and looked at him coldly. "Because I didn't want her to end up like me!"

"Stop." Dak looked like he already knew what she was going to say.

But Rhuben continued anyway. "I didn't want her to have to worry about what other people said or did. Y'know why? Cause it sticks with you. I didn't want you to have to deal with the same thing that my family had to deal with."

"Stop!"

"I didn't want her to end up anorexic like I did!" She leaned over and roughly grabbed her bag up off of the floor. "Happy?!" She threw her hands up into the air and then moved close to Dak's face, looking right into his eyes. "You always thought that I was so perfect. What do you think now?"

Dak didn't respond.

Rhuben turned on her heel and stormed out of the dance studio.

* * *

Rhuben walked out into the water, allowing the warm waves to wash over her feet and to take the sand out from underneath her. The wind blew and she slid down the sleeves of Ronan's sweatshirt, swimming in it, just the way she liked it. She was the only one on the beach except for the man who ran the tiny souvenir shop. She loved being alone on the beach as there was a better atmosphere to get lost in her thoughts. Though she figured that was part of her problem; she was always in her thoughts, always internalizing everything before she said it out loud. Though she could say what she really thought of something and could be straight forward with whatever she thought, she never wanted to put people out or to unintentionally hurt them, as she had done many times before. She thought that she was getting better at it, but it was really only hurting her in the long time.

She started slowly walking across the beach. She walked up and down the beach as the wind blew. The sea and the cliffs seemed to possess her as she walked; it was as if I were no longer in control. The melodic sound of the waves crashing against the rocks. She was swept deep into my thoughts. Rhuben rounded the bend and walked over to the small cave that was made into the wall, with enough space for two people to fit, sitting side by side. She loved to go there and think, it was a good place to get some pictures taken, close enough to the water if she wanted to go in, but far enough along the beach to enjoy it alone if she wanted. She wasn't even sure if anyone else knew it was there.

As she approached the cave, she noticed two long legs sticking out of it. Raising an eyebrow she continued to walk over, knowing who she would find.

"I knew that at some point you'd come by," Dak commented when he spotted her. Rhuben stayed silent. "It's hard not to find you guys here and you once told me that you liked to come here to think." He gave a soft smile. "It's fitting considering you and I were the ones that found it."

Rhuben placed her hands on her hips and still didn't say anything. What could she say? She had said everything she wanted to say to him for a while in that one-sided fight that they had. She hated how he treated her like she couldn't do anything wrong, she hated how he couldn't see, or refused to see, that his little sister was hurting. She hated how…scared she was of him and of him knowing her secret. She was scared of how close he was getting and how close she was letting him get, especially having only to depend on her family for so long.

"So am I correct in assuming that I should be the one to apologize?" Dak asked. He patted the rock next to him before holding out a hand. Rhuben walked over and grabbed it, allowing herself to be pulled inside the cave. The rock that they were sitting on had been smoothed over the years so that it didn't poke into them when they sat down. It was cool to the touch. Rhuben brought her knees up. "Look, I've never said that you were perfect-"

"Dak…yes you have." Rhuben pushed her hair behind her ears. "You've said it a hundred times. And the times where you didn't say t out loud, I could tell by the way you looked at me. And I hate when you look at me that way. Because I know I'm not perfect and that puts a lot of pressure on me." She frowned. "You…put me on this freaking high pedestal like I can't do anything wrong, and then I feel like I'm walking on egg shells around you."

"If you weren't annoyed that I was constantly asking you out?" Dak asked.

"That, too."

"I thought that was flattering, to be honest," Dak said. He scratched the back of his head. "Like, I thought that girls liked it when they knew that a guy was interested in them."

"I didn't say that," Rhuben said slowly. "It's….you always had bad timing." She said slowly. "When I would have a boyfriend, I just plainly wasn't interested in having another one…or the whole abuse thing." She briefly closed her eyes. "The stress…it just got to me."

"Ok." Dak licked his lips and shifted closer to her, pressing his thigh against hers. She didn't move away. "When I say that you're perfect or imply it or whatever, I mean that you're perfect to _me_. Flaws and all. If I didn't think that there are times where you could be cold or standoffish or mysterious, then I wouldn't be realistic as a person. No one's perfect." Rhuben looked at him. "Besides, I said I liked a mystery and I finally figured out yours."

"Oh yeah…" Rhuben rolled her eyes. "A girl who's parents died who was abused, and is anorexic. Perfect dating material."

"What made you think that I would support you or help you after the first two things and not support you on the last one?" Dak asked. Rhuben gave a half smile, knowing that he couldn't say it out loud yet.

"Probably because I got your sister into it, too," Rhuben said slowly. She felt another wave of guilt come over her. "Which was what I was trying to avoid the whole time."

"No you didn't." Dak shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. "It was Miss. Gina that did. After almost every class, she would tell Lizzie that she was the one with the most potential of the group to go far, but she didn't look the part. She told Lizzie over and over that the only way she could go on to be really good was if she looked and felt like a dancer. So she advised her to stop eating." He frowned, his hands clenching into fists. "For a long time, she didn't do anything, then Miss. Gina noted, after you had the stomach flu, how much better you looked and things went on from there."

Rhuben felt a swell of hope. "So…I didn't drive Lizzie to anorexia?"

"No." Dak reached over and grabbed onto her hand. "And…if anything she's probably not even anorexic. Lizz told me that she only threw up a couple of times, but really hates it, so whenever she would keep trying, her body wouldn't let her."

"Oh." Rhuben tucked her hair behind her ear. "Well, that's good."

"Mhm." Dak nodded.

Rhuben tapped her feet up and down and the two sat in silence for a while. "It must be a record for you," Dak looked at her curiously. "To have finally been able to start going out with me after four years of asking, and then break up with her only a couple of months later."

"What?" Dak looked confused. "Wait. When did we break up?"

Rhuben now looked confused. "You…didn't…?" Dak shook his head again. Rhuben frowned, pulled her hair out of her face. "But…why would you-"

"I already told you, Sugar Plum…" Rhuben gave a soft smile. "I'm going to support you with this. If I supported you with your parents and with your abuse after finding out about that, I'm not going to drop you like a rock with something like this. I'd _hate_ myself if I did that. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, seriously." Rhuben nodded. "Did…you break up with me?"

Rhuben shook her head.

"That's settled then." Dak gave a relieved smile. "But seriously, though, none of what happened was your fault." He cleared his throat. "But if you don't mind me asking…what got you into anorexia anyway? Cause I think you look good just the way you are."

Rhuben gave a wan smile. "Contrary to popular belief, you don't always become anorexic strictly because you don't like you body. I like my body just fine." She shrugged. "I never had an issue with it. It was the stress and pressure that go to me to." She was silent for a moment, her free hand over her mouth as she thought. "When Robert was around, he'd push us really hard. So hard that there were days where it was so fully, we didn't get a chance to eat at all. Then there were other days where we were able to eat, he'd push us hard enough that I would just throw it back up later. And then there were days that I would give Syd my food so he wouldn't have to worry." She shrugged. "Then after a while, it was the anxiety, the fear of not knowing what would set him off that would make me puke after eating something. It was caught really fast, only a couple of months in, I didn't lose enough weight for it to be really alarming, but it was enough."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Rhuben briefly closed her eyes. "I was in the hospital for a bit, got better, and never really had any problems for a long time. Then I got the stomach flu and couldn't keep anything down. It gets like that sometimes, where I get sick and my body goes back to the way it was before. So it's a work in progress. I'm recovering…I'm _recovered_, but it's never going to go away completely. Even if I don't throw up for the rest of my life, I'm still going to be anorexic." She looked at him seriously. "You can get Lizzie help now and she'll be fine. It's going to be a bit harder for me, though."

"Does Logan know?" Dak asked.

Rhuben gave a sad smile. "No, none of the guys know. Neither does the girls, Katie, or Mama Knight. Only you and my family know. Ronan paid his publicist extra to make sure that none of it got into the press. Notice how whenever we'd eat dinner, one of my brothers or sister would stay at the table with me, no matter how long it took for me to finish. It gets annoying at times, but I'm grateful for the help."

"And like I said before, I'll be there to help you." Dak squeezed her hand. Rhuben squeezed it back. She then leaned forward and gave him a kiss, resting her hands on the sides of his face. Dak kissed her back, resting his arm on her leg. "What was that for?" He asked when she pulled away, a couple of moments later.

"I felt like it," Rhuben said, cocking an eyebrow. "I don't need a reason why."

"I'll take it." Dak smiled.

"So…I'm sorry about what I said to you and Lizz, it was way out of line." Rhuben said slowly. She then became uncomfortable after that. She was never comfortable apologizing to someone, someone that wasn't her family or Logan at least. Usually she could just blame it on the abuse that she endured, trying to push people away so they didn't find out. Now she couldn't blame anyone but herself.

"Ah, you're already forgiven," Dak said. He grimaced. "Though now I think that Lizz is going to be even more enamored with you."

"What makes you say that?" Rhuben asked.

"Because she now says that she wants to be more like you and Katie, where you keep things that you're thinking inside until it bursts out instead of always saying everything that she feels." Dak laughed lightly as he shook his head. "I can't win with her."

"Well…" Rhuben squeezed his hand again. "If you help support me with this, I'll support you with that."

"Deal."

Rhuben leaned over and rested her head on Dak's shoulder.

He rested his head on top of hers, gently running his thumb over her hand.

"You're too patient with me," Rhuben said. "I don't deserve it."

"It's going to take you a while to convince you of this, but the only reason I do put up with all of this is because you're worth it. And I'm going to prove to you that you are, no matter how long it takes. I promise."

* * *

**A/N: **Now, you're probably wondering why Lizzie wasn't influenced to becoming somewhat anorexic/bulimic from Rhuben's influence, and the only reason I did it that it came from the teacher is because I (personally) felt that if it would have been too obvious if I came from Rhuben. (Though it's the idea that I had at first); if someone else was writing a story like this, I would have seen that coming from a mile away, in all it would be too obvious and I like to write stories where you usually can't see what's coming next. (Unless I'm writing my own spin on an overly done plot).

So when I was re-reading a book called _Forged by Fire _I realized that it would be better if her teacher's comments made her anorexic. Plus, if Rhuben has been anorexic for years and is recovering from it, and they hadn't seen it before, then she'd have a long time with no problems and then go back to it every now and then. So I feel like it would be harder for them to see and for Lizzie to be able to notice to get it from her.

Plus, I felt that it would be better if Lizzie (like Dak) found out that her 'role model/big sister' wasn't as perfect as they thought when it was essentially all in Rhuben's head. The photo shoot that Kendall is talking about, in my head, its the one that he recently got done (you know with the pool and the guitar and the grandp sweater and fedora) and I think that Rhu would take the pictures for that. Maybe Riley would style him, idk, its just an idea, I might make it into a one-shot for a friendship one between the three of them since I already did a one-shot that a friendship between him and Riley and Rhuben.

*Stupid song lyrics not fitting in chapter titles*.

Cheers,

-Riles


	6. You've got me paralyzed, paralyzed

**.:Chapter 06:.**

* * *

"So…" Lizzie sat up straight, releasing herself from stretching her right hamstring. "How…did people know that you had a…you know…eating disorder?"

"Syd, actually," Rhuben said. She pulled her shoulder length hair back into a ponytail and tied it with a few quick flicks of her wrist. She crossed her arms over her chest before leaning back against the mirrors that lined one wall. "He started to cry, because he was scared about how much I was throwing up, especially since he felt guilty about me giving him food all the time, with what little food we would get from Robert at times."

"Oh." Lizzie leaned to the left to stretch her other leg.

"Yeah, so he was scared about it and went to tell Ronan. And just like the great friend that he is and always has been, he sat me down and talked to me about it and I broke down on the fact that I wasn't eating much or keeping things down, but I couldn't tell him that Robert was the reason why." She started to laugh lightly. "This upcoming part is funny. So, he took me to this specialist who helps people with eating disorders, and she sat me down and asked me 'Have you eaten anything today?'" Rhuben started to laugh harder. "Which was _really_ ridiculous because I wouldn't have been there if I had. So I said 'Are you fucking stupid?'"

"No!" Lizzie cried, her green eyes widening. "You didn't!"

"Yeah, and the intake nurse paused stared at me when I cursed at her for the second time; the first time had been when she stated that she thought, in her 'professional opinion', that I suffered from a "eating disorder. I said, 'no shit'." Rhuben sighed, crossing her legs. "I hadn't eaten that day and very little that whole week, and the months before." She frowned. "Then she said, 'you may have to get a feeding tube' Then I said, 'fuck you.'."

Lizzie had stopped stretching at this point, and was listening to Rhuben intently.

"Ronan put a stop to that, quickly and they figured it wasn't too bad but if I kept going at the way that I was going, especially because we were working out, like, all day because of our band, I would get really bad. But it was bad enough that I knew it would stick with me for the rest of my life." Rhuben leaned forward and looked Lizzie right in the eye. "Which is the main reason that we told you that you couldn't be in our dance class. Not that we don't think that you're good, but we don't think that you would be able to handle the pressure, because what we do in our class, is essentially what we do for our band, times ten, because we're teaching other people at a high intensity pace. So it's easy for us, but massively hard for others."

Lizzie nodded.

"That being said…" Rhuben paused for dramatic effect. Lizzie perked up a little. "You can sit in on our dance classes sometimes, _just to watch_. When we think, it's mostly my opinion, but when we think that you're ready then you can join our classes."

"Oh my god! Thank you, thank you, thank you, so much!" Lizzie clasped her hands together. She looked like she didn't know what to do with herself. Or that she was about to pass out. "This is soooo cool! I can't believe I get to watch a master class!"

"Yeah, well, you're not going to get there if you don't practice." Rhuben motioned for Lizzie to get to her feet and move to the center of the room so that she could get started. "I don't want you to end up like me, that's the only reason that I'm being so hard on your about this." Lizzie nodded. "Ok, now get into your starting position."

"Yes, Ma'am." Lizzie giggled as she moved to get into her starting position.

"And knock it off with the ma'am stuff," Rhuben added. She looked up when she heard the door open and watched as Sophie walked into the room, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes on Lizzie. She didn't seem to notice Rhuben in the room as well.

"Do you really think that all of this extra practice is going to help you?" Sophie sneered. "I told you before that you're not good enough to be a dancer is Miss. Gina is constantly correcting you." Lizzie frowned, her eyes moving over to Rhuben. "Just today, she was telling me that you're not as good as you used to be."

Uncertainty flashed over Lizzie's face.

"If anyone deserves to get into that class, it's me. I mean, my sister is already in it and she's the best in the class." Rhuben moved her jaw to the side as she slowly got to her feet, staying as quiet as possible. "So if you think-"

All of a sudden, Sophie found herself on the ground with Rhuben sitting on her stomach, calmly looking her in the face. Sophie's eyes were wide as she looked into Rhuben's blue eyes, which were boring into her. "Ok, the way I see it, you have two options." Rhuben held up her fingers, holding her dark purple nails close to Sophie's face. "I could either hit you so hard that you'd get knocked out in a second, or you can apologize to my friend, leave her the fuck alone, and no one will hear about this. I won't tell your teacher you've been harassing her and you won't tell her that I threatened you, deal?"

Sophie nodded rapidly.

"Good." Rhuben got up and pulled Sophie to her feet, then forcibly grabbed her shoulders and turned her towards Lizzie. "Now apologize."

"I'm sorry," Sophie muttered, looking at her feet. "For making fun of you and putting you down all the time."

Lizzie looked like she was about to burst out laughing. She held a hand up her over her mouth, her shoulders shaking, before she removed her hands from her mouth. "It's OK."

"Go find your sister," Rhuben instructed. "I'm going to tell her that you need to work on your attitude." She paused. "And I'm sure this isn't the first time that she's needed to have a talk about you." Sophie nodded and walked out of the room. Rhuben twisted her mouth to the side as she turned to Lizzie. "Don't ever do what I just did," she warned. "Cause that was the tamest thing that I could do, and let me tell you, it took _everything_ in my power not to punch her in the face."

"Got it." Lizzie beamed. "Thanks."

"No worries," Rhuben said. "And seriously, don't say anything, because I know that Ronan would kill me if he found out about this."

"I already promised." Lizzie laughed. "But seriously, thanks for everything, Rhubes. It's really cool of you."

"You're welcome, kid." Rhuben walked over to the boom box that was set up in the corner of the room. "But you're not going to be thanking me after I run your ass into the ground." She smiled. "Now get ready!"

* * *

"So then we can get someone to block off this section of the beach and we can have the party here in, like, two weeks," Dak said as he spread his arms out wide, looking at the ocean. He turned to Rhuben, who was standing by his side. She was looking out at the water, holding onto her notebook with both hands, holding it in front of her lap. "What do you think?"

"Can you really reserve a public beach?" She asked.

"_I_ probably could, cause I'm that awesome," Dak replied, causing Rhuben to laugh. "So that's my portion of the party, you guys have to figure out how to get them here to keep the surprise." He scratched his forehead. "So I still don't get why you guys don't just have the party at the PalmWoods like everyone else."

"And have all of those leeches try and lump in on it, no thanks!" Rhuben gave him a funny look. "Seriously, it's because…the kids at the PalmWoods are planning on surprising them once they get back there. But, we don't see it as something really genuine, because they didn't care when the guys came back from their summer festival tour, thing the first time. And they're our best friends…and its' nice." She threw her hands into the air. "We can be nice people!"

Dak snorted.

"From time to time," Rhuben agreed. She reached out and poked him in the side, causing him to laugh and wrap his arms around her drawing her close to him. He gave her a kiss on the side of the head. "Don't make fun of me about that, only Ronan can." She then poked him in the chest.

"Fine, fine." Dak's laughter faded as he turned his attention to the notebook that was pressed against his chest. "So what'd you bring this for? I mean, apart from the fact that it's usually attached to your guys' hands almost all the time."

"Because I wanted you to hear something." Rhuben said. She stopped walking and sat down on the ground. Dak sat down next to her, stretching his long legs out into the sand. Rhuben flipped open to halfway through the notebook and started to read out loud. "I didn't want to have this happen to me. I felt like I was in jail. I got in recovery, but you came back. I tried to get rid of you, but you came back, mad. You harmed me, I almost everyone who mattered the most to me. You came back and I ended up in the hospital. I got better, but you came back. I blocked you out, and it worked. You were gone. But you came back. Every time, you come back. If you do come back, and say that everything is wrong, I'll ask my boyfriend and friend if what you're telling me is true." She closed her notebook and then made a face. "Not sure about the boyfriend part-"

"I'm not going to rush you on that," Dak quickly put in.

"I know, but, I guess this is looking forward into the future," Rhuben said. She shrugged, pulling her hair over one shoulder a light tinge hitting her cheeks. "Hoping that you'll still be there to support me."

"I said I would," Dak reminded her.

"I know, but I've been told things like that for so long, being promised something and then it not happening." She sucked her lips into her mouth. "So you can't blame me for being a little skeptical."

"Nah, it's cool." Dak looked at his watch. "Geez, I'm going to miss my plane to NYC if I don't get going now. _A Separate Peace _won't wait for me."

"That's what understudy's are for," Rhuben pointed out.

"Yeah, but I can't afford a good one or I'll be out of a job." Dak got to his feet, brushing off the seat of his pants before reaching out and grabbing onto her hands, pulling her up as well. "Do you think you'll be ok while I'm gone?" Dak asked, looking at her seriously. "I know I'm only going to be gone for a week and I'll be back before the guys will be, but I mean, it was hard to get you to eat a simple sandwich today."

Rhuben grimaced.

Earlier when Dak had gone over to the Jacksons' house for lunch, he tried to help Rhuben through eating as best as he could. He proved that he would be patient through everything, even when they all sat there for three hours, waiting for her to be done. But it was worth it, in his opinion. He was able to get some good food, they reminisced about their time in New York for the first time in a while, and he got to spend time with his girlfriend and some of his best friends. He then realized how hard things were for her; having to sit and watch as she continuously complained and tried to push her food away, even if it was one of her favorite kinds.

Rhuben turned away from him, looking at the ocean. Like usual, it gave her a calming effect, the longer that she looked at it. She turned back to Dak with a half smile, reaching out to take his hand. She laced her fingers in his. "I can handle it," she said confidently. She stood on her tiptoes and put her arms around his neck, he looped his arms around her waist as she gave him a kiss.

"I thought PDA wasn't your thing," Dak said, looking down at her.

"It's not," Rhuben agreed. "But I can make an exception for you every now and then." She held up a finger. "Besides, there's no one on the beach right now." She thought for a moment. "Just as long as you stop talking about me in interviews." She gave a sweet smile and Dak laughed, nodding to show that he would agree with it. "I'll see you when you get back, Superstar."

"First thing?" Dak asked, giving a gentle smile.

"First thing."

**THE END**

* * *

**A/N: **First off, I'm so sorry this story ended up a lot shorter than I originally intended, ending only at 6 chapters instead of the 11 that I originally said, and then the 8 that I said after that. I had everything planned out, but like when I do other stories, I saw how some of the things that happened only worked out as short scenes rather than being able to fill up an actual chapter.

And seeing as I've never written about anorexia or anorexia recovery before, I wasn't really sure how long I could have the story go with different points of it plaguing Rhuben and then her being ok, before someone else found out or the stress got to her about it, since it doesn't directly relate to the way that she acts around other people/she can hide it very well/she's already recovered from it, but it plagues her every now and then.

But I'm going to explore it in some other fics to make up for it, because I at least know what I'm doing with it now, unlike briefly mentioning it (like in _WTFLT: Here and Now_ and _Elevate_) as well as more of the Jacksons' home life (which you'll see a lot of in _Wait For Me) _as I didn't really show it here either.

Like I said at the beginning of the story; I ultimately got the idea for this fic after watching Demi Lovato's special on MTV about battling her eating disorder. I'm not a fan of Demi, but it still scared me when she was having Thanksgiving with her family and after one bite of food, said she couldn't finish it. I knew that I wanted to do this with Rhuben only for the fact that not many people do stories of someone after their anorexia has been treated. Most people don't get that anorexia never really goes away and that it's a long battle even if you go a long time without throwing up or frequent exercising or hoarding food.

Plus, I wanted at least one of my stories not to be completely dramatic and have a lot to do with friendship and how someone can love someone else so much that they'll stay through anything. That's how this story came about. (Though without a lot of drama I felt that it made the story somewhat boring and slow, but I am my own worst critic).

I've found that while writing this story, it works better as a prequel to _You're Not Alone _rather than a sequel, because of the way it falls in the timeline and the way the story went. It's a story to show something that we originally had in our old timeline as well as showing something that happened before BTR got home from their tour and after DE got to LA. So this was in between seasons 2 and 3, but everyone is 18 (or 19 in Dak's and WayneWayne's case). So it's now a prequel as opposed to a sequel, meaning that Della would be together longer than Kiley, just so everyone knows (and it sets up the events for what we had planned in our timeline for season 3). And for my first time writing a multi-chapter Della, I think I did a pretty good job with it, though it's a bit difficult to write convincingly for Dak since we don't ever see him. (And that just reminds me that I still have to do that new Della/Wiley fic I had been working on since _Next To Normal_).

Thanks for all of the favorites, alerts, and reviews for this story, I'm glad you all liked it. I've got an idea of doing a sequel to this and _You're Not Alone_ that's focuses on Kiley and Della, but it might just be its own series that's a sequel to these where one story is on Kiley and the other is on Della, but it'll be a while before its put up. I'll let you all know when it is/look out on our tumblr in our 'Upcoming Fics' section. I've got some ideas for another Della story, but not an actual plot yet either, so I'll let you know. Besides that, I hope you continue on to my next story and continue to support me and Rhubes with whatever we come up with in the future.

Cheers,

-Riles


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